Gordon Brown is in a pickle. Since he became Prime Minister he’s been hit with a credit crunch, floods, disease outbreaks and diplomatically awkward Olympic tensions. Clearly the man needs help to get his popularity shifting upwards again. And, having looked at the problem thoroughly, Gordon Brown found the only person on the face of the Earth who even came close to matching his requirements. Shakira.No, really. Shakira. Shakira and Gordon Brown have been yammering away on the phone trying to thrash out a solution to third world education. We know, this news makes us want to rush out and vote for Gordon Brown immediately too, but let’s be smart here - if we play it cool enough, Brown won’t stop at Shakira. Finally, our dreams of seeing Eva Longoria as a Secretary Of State For Work And Pensions have got one step closer to reality! Politicians and pop stars aren’t so different, really. Take Gordon Brown and Shakira for example - recently Brown’s been busy examining his stance on biofuel in the wake of the global fuel crisis, and Shakira has been wiggling her tits around independently of each other while singing a song about how she shags blokes real good. One and the same, one and the same.
Of course, there are subtle differences between the two of them as well - recent rumours of a three-way Shakira sex tape got the world more excited than it had ever been, while the thought of Gordon Brown filming himself having sex just makes people want to throw up, rub the thrown-up vomit into their eyes until they’re blind, set themselves on fire and run screaming into a dirty syringe factory chased by an angry bear.
Despite this, though, one of two things were always going to happen when Shakira and Gordon Brown got together. Either a) they’d discuss the need for increased aid and debt relief in third world countries to help implement a universal basic education system, or b) they’d have a red-hot sexalicious rumpity-pump bonking sesh with three buckets of honey and a midget David Cameron lookalike dressed in a rubber gimp suit.
Yeah, it was the first one. Shame. The Press Association reports:
Pop star Shakira, famous for songs such as Hips Don’t Lie, heaped praise on the PM, saying he is “very smart” and “brave” with “wonderful intentions”. The unlikely pair came together on a conference call to discuss education in the Third World, with the world’s media listening in. In the call, which also featured World Bank president Robert Zoellick, the PM and the singer spoke of their backing for the Global Campaign for Education which aims to have every child in the world in school by 2015.
In fact, Shakira is just the latest piece of celebrity totty who Gordon Brown has pretended to be interested in recently. Not so long ago he was doing the exact same thing with Angelina Jolie, which at least proves that Gordon Brown is dedicated to getting every child in the world in school so long as a pretty lady is explaining it for him.
And, who knows, Gordon Brown might even get a bump in the polls by associating himself so closely with Shakira. If so, we can all look forward to Brown pushing through the Jessica Simpson-initiated Look At My Hair It’s Real Shiny And Cute Like A Princess Or An Angel Act 2008 any day now.
news source : http://www.hecklerspray.com/
